melting while listening to kids. and feeling p much nothing

I had a pretty great morning. I went to Ari’s house and we listened 2 Das Racist and smoked and then I watched her play some avengers game and we would hug and touch occasionally which made me feel v real and was cool.

Then we started making out and I also felt very present and I loved the way her hands were cupping my face. I felt really happy and I was laughing at silly things, which would interrupt our kisses. I’m so ticklish it’s ridic.

We also played around with spanking harder and wowie that’s fun

i’m really bored

I FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF

ugh i hate this, being drunk is not like being high because at least being high means I can face my problems calmly and forget about them but being drunk makes me see things in ways I don’t want to see them and I’m making connections i don’t want to makeĀ 

please don’t ever be mad at me

i’m scared of not being desired completely????

there’s nothing like masturbating and then smokin a bowl. really lifts up ur mood lemme tell ya

like, i try to pretend like I’m always so self loving in hopes that it’ll sink in but I truly don’t think I’m worth much and I think I’m boring and kind of just dumb and ugh

yesterday i realized exactly how messed up I feel about myself and it’s, well, messed up

ale. 20. sadblogging, sexblogging, ventblogging. p much all my dumb txt posts i'm afraid of posting on the other bloge


wenk?